Bring It!

Today I have chosen to do the seemingly impossible.

Although chosen is a strong word when really I was placed between a rock and a hard place due to my own poor planning and procrastination.  I put off scheduling to take a necessary assessment test to begin a degree program.  Unfortunately for me, the deadline to take this three and a half hour exam is February 15th.  Today I logged on to the website to schedule the test for next Wednesday, which will be the last test offered before the deadline.  Much to my dismay, there were no more spots available for that day, nor were there any spots available for next Tuesday.  This left me with only two options:

  1. Wait yet another semester to apply for the program – you apply and then do not start until the following semester, which would be Spring 2016.
  2. Schedule the test on the only remaining available day, which is this Wednesday, February 4th so that I can apply by April 1st for the program that will begin in Fall 2015.

I had to consider both options equally.  Mulling over Option 1, I realized it would require much more effort than option 2. That may sound ridiculous but let me break down for you how Option 1 would play out:

Many people would be disappointed in me.  My husband in particular would not be happy as our plans for the future are connected to my finishing this degree program and beginning a new job.  I would be disappointed in me for causing myself to have to wait an additional semester.

To counter disappointment I usually make excuses.  I tell myself that ‘this or that’ was what really led to the delay.  I rationalize it all out.  I offer excuses to those who were expecting me to begin the program in Fall 2015.  I play the blame game – ‘It wasn’t all my fault, the university changed the rules for the program…”  [The school did in fact change the rules and requirements to get into the program this past summer, they also changed the deadline dates and testing days].  I blame it on my being sick or being too busy.

The problem with rationalizing and making excuses is it doesn’t ever really work.  I still feel the weight of anger at myself for procrastinating, for not being responsible, for letting this all happen.  I feel the weight of the disappointment of others, I feel bad for letting them down and for not living up to my own potential.  I create my own despair by allowing things to turn out this way.  The truth of it is I made the decision to procrastinate.  I made the decision not to check new deadlines.  I made the decision to let time slip away.  Those may not have been conscious, active decisions but failing to act is the same as deciding not to act.

See, Option 1 entails a lot of emotional distress, a lot of effort to come up with rationalizations, excuses, evasions and so many other time consuming things.  So I focus on Option 2.

Option 2 is simple, schedule to take the test in two days.  I already have the study guide book for the test.  It’s only around 200 pages.  The majority of this assessment test is science and I already have a bachelor of science in biochemistry. I know that I can ace this test even with only giving myself two days to study.  I have done it in the past, given myself very little time to learn a semesters worth of information and been successful.

For many, taking an assessment test with only two days to study seems impossible.  For me, I say, bring it.  The human brain is capable of amazing feats, all you have to do is push aside doubt and disbelief.  Needless to say, I chose Option 2.

What about everyone else?  Anyone do anything impossible recently?  What about slightly extraordinary?

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8 thoughts on “Bring It!

  1. I’m with you, I’ll take two days of hard work over any days of emotional trauma! If you’re able to bust it out, then bust it out. I think the fact that I got my degree at all was a minor miracle as I never studied, just skated by best I could. Glad to be done with it all. I still get the didn’t study enough trauma nightmares every once in a while even though it’s twenty years later.

    • I didn’t study all that much in getting my biochem degree. For Calculus tests I used to just get to campus an hour and a half early, sit in my car and study then take the test. It worked great because I was focused and had no distractions.

  2. Presumably, if you fail the test, which I think is highly unlikely as you write beautifully anyway, you can always apply again next year, or to somewhere else. I would nearly always go for the immediate; if I procrastinate I know there’s some niggling reason why my mind or body is stopping me.

  3. I think, overall, I’d agree with doing it in two days. It’s hard but, for better or worse, it also means the thing will be finished this week and it’s such a rare joy to finish anything anymore, isn’t it?

  4. I’d also go with the two days – especially if you are quite ready for it. Don’t procrastinate further! If it make you feel better, my daughter didn’t pay attention to the final date for applying to the college she wanted. She went to apply ten days later and guess what? We were very lucky because my husband does work for their admissions dept. and they were willing to take a paper application from my daughter, late as it was. She learned a good lesson.

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