For maybe the tenth time this week, Psychology Today – I follow it on my Facebook account – posted yet another article about how to tell if your relationship is… healthy… thriving… and so many other similar words they use to headline articles about relationships.
Last month it was a string of articles about how to tell if your partner loves you, really loves you, wants to be with you and on and on. These are interspersed with articles on how well you communicate with your partner. Over the course of time I have followed the page, I have read the occasional article just to see what revelations they have on love that requires so many articles concerning it. As I suspected, they have none other than those things anyone in love already knows.
So the question is, who reads these frequent articles? Why do they write so many? How many people out there are so confused or unaware or ignorant of love and communication that they need someone else to tell them how their relationship is going? In my opinion, if you have to seek answers about your relationship from a magazine then perhaps it isn’t going so well.
It seems to me that if you are seeking answers from an outside source, then that is your first problem. Communication rarely, if ever, happens through telepathy – which means, for communication between you and your partner to occur, you have to speak to each other. If you are not able to speak to your partner about their feelings towards you or your feelings towards them and thus must use an article written by a stranger – then yes, you have communication problems in your relationship.
If your partner is so distant physically and/or emotionally from you that you must seek advice from an article on whether your partner loves you or not – then perhaps there is a problem. I suggest discussing your concerns and uncertainty with your partner rather than relying on a stranger’s assessment of your partner’s emotions. I am not saying your partner being distant means they do not love you – I am saying that the best way to find out is to talk to your partner about it.
And finally, if you are in a relationship and cannot tell how your partner feels about you – and you seek determination from an article and thus decide your partner loves you based on what the article says – you may have a problem. Confirming someone must be in love with you based on their behavior or words that align with what an article says indicates love – is not advisable. Once again, the best way to find out how your partner feels is to ask them rather than guessing.
Words and actions are easily misinterpreted and depend entirely on the context in which they occur thus making articles identifying their meaning useless. Thus I say if you don’t know the answer – please, do not seek it out from an article written on generalizations about love. Try communication first otherwise you are just as likely to discover whether your partner loves you or not by plucking petals from a flower with alternating phrases of “He loves me. He loves me not.”